


Grief Inconsolable

by draca (wyvernwolf)



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Animal Death, Gen, JB (Kingsman) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 13:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12322155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyvernwolf/pseuds/draca
Summary: You think they'll be with you forever. But then one day, they're not.





	Grief Inconsolable

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for pet death.

“JB! Daddy’s home!” Eggsy shouted, using one hand to hold the front door open as the other strained under the weight of multiple bags of shopping.

There wasn’t the usual clack of nails or JB’s panting as he waddled into sight, but Eggsy wasn’t too concerned. JB was older now and speed was no longer his friend. Plus he was a lazy little shit and liked to spend as much time as he could get away with lolling in his cozy little bed in front of the fire.

Eggsy toed off his shoes, leaving them in an untidy pile, and dropped his keys into the little basket his mum had made him put out exactly for that reason and gratefully redistributed his shopping bags to his now free hand. Who knew vegetables could get so heavy so quickly.

Carrying them into the kitchen was the work of a few minutes and he didn’t bother unpacking, just dumped them in a heap on the counter. He had a pug to look for.

Having a good idea where JB was, he leaned into the living room and left out a soft laugh. He’d been spot on. JB was curled up in his little bed, one tiny paw covering his face.

“There you are, you lazy thing,” he said fondly.

“I got some of those stinky chew things you like,” he continued when JB didn’t so much as twitch. He must still be tired out from their walk earlier. “If you’re a good boy, you might get it later when Roxy gets here.”

Eggsy returned to the kitchen, chattering the entire way. Living alone, he’d got used to talking to JB out loud. It was comforting and JB seemed to enjoy it so Eggsy never stopped.

He haphazardly piled the fresh vegetables into the crisper and hoped he’d chosen the correct things. Roxy was coming in later to help him with dinner and she was very particular about the ingredients she used.

It was only after he had the kettle going and had partially opened one of JB’s food tins did he realise something was wrong.

JB still hadn’t come in.

“JB?” He called and wandered out of the kitchen, still holding the tin.

“Where are you, babes?”

He popped his head back into the living room and shook his head fondly when he saw that JB was still asleep.

“You’re not still sleeping are you?” he tsked. “Time to get up now, you lazy bugger. Look what daddy got you,” he said and cracked open the tin a bit more. Usually at this point, JB would have popped up and be dancing around his legs.

JB didn’t move.

A feeling of dread settled on Eggsy.

“JB?”

The little stump of a tail lay limp. Eggsy didn’t remember putting the tin of dog food down or walking across the room.

“JB? Come on, wakey wakey.”

There was none of the usual snort snoring coming from JB an Eggsy’s mind shied away from the implications of this. JB was  _fine._

He took a few steps closer.

JB didn’t move.

A buzzing sound took residence in Eggsy’s ears, drowning out every other noise.

“JB? What’s wrong, boy?” His voice seemed to come from such a long way away.

JB didn’t move.

Eggsy’s heart was beating so fast it felt like he was going to have a heart attack and the back of his neck was sweaty. He swallowed with a click and stuck his suddenly cold hands in his armpits.

“JB?”

He knelt down next to the curled up pug, his stomach twisting so violently he felt like he was going to be sick, and slowly, carefully reached out a shaking hand.

JB’s body was cold.

And so, so still.

The bottom dropped out from Eggsy’s world.

\---

“Eggsy?” Roxy called as she nudged the front door open with her foot.

“Eggsy!” Roxy called again and when no Eggsy came running, let out an annoyed huff. “He better not have forgotten that we were making dinner together,” she grumbled as she carried in her very full basket.

Roxy carefully removed her shoes and furrowed her brow in confusion. Eggsy’s own trainers were in a messy pile by the door and a quick look confirmed that his keys were in their little basket.

He should be home.

But the house was dark and strangely quiet. No Eggsy chattering away, no music, no sounds from the television and worst yet, no JB.

The hair on Roxy’s arms rose and every single one of her senses went on high alert.

She carefully put her basket down and silently pulled out her gun, clicking the safety off as quietly as she could. She debated calling Merlin, but decided that she’d hold off until she had better intelligence. She didn’t want to alarm Merlin for nothing. For all she knew, Eggsy had just fallen asleep.

She ignored the little voice that whispered to her that Eggsy was too well trained to sleep through her noisy entrance and calling his name.

Holding her gun out in front of her, Roxy crept down the hallway. It had taken a few years and some gentle nudging from herself and Michelle until Eggsy had finally relented and removed most of Harry’s decorations and replaced them with his own. Now instead of rows upon rows of dead butterflies, the walls were covered with a pretty eclectic choice of prints. Who knew Eggsy had an eye for art.

All of these thoughts tumbled through the back of Roxy’s mind even as she made her way to the doorway leading to the living room.

The door itself was partially open and Roxy used her foot to nudge it open wider and almost dropped her gun when she saw Eggsy’s hunched over form in the corner. His shoulders were shaking and it looked like he had something small in his lap.

Not forgetting her training, she restrained her first instinct to call out to him and checked that they were alone in the room first before she hurried over to him.

“Eggsy,” she half whispered. Her worry increased when Eggsy didn’t move other than the shuddering of his shoulders.

It was only when she was close that she saw what he was holding and her blood went cold with dread.

“Oh,  _Eggsy_ ,” she said and quickly put her gun away, safety clicked back on. She dropped down next to him and put a gentle hand on his shaking shoulder.

Eggsy didn’t flinch. And now she was closer, Roxy could see that the little pug’s body was unnaturally still and boneless in that way that made Roxy recognised from being too closely acquainted with death.

She had to forcibly swallow to suppress the sob that suddenly wanted to escape her. This was about Eggsy, not her, no matter how much she had loved the little pug too.

“I’m so sorry, Eggsy,” she said softly.

At that, Eggsy turned towards her and Roxy’s heart broke at his tear stained face and the anguish that was writ large across it.

“We went for walkies just this morning, Rox,” he said, he voice thick and hoarse from crying. “We went for walkies at his favourite doggy park and he was all busy waddling around and sniffing everything. He wasn’t as fast as he could’ve been, but he’s an old man, ain’t he. But he was fine. I had to carry him home, but he was fine, Rox. He weren’t sick or nothing.”

Eggsy sniffed and rubbed his nose. The entire time he was talking, he was gently stroking JB. Roxy’s throat tightened as she watched through wet eyes the way those same hands that had been trained to maim and kill now so lovingly and delicately caress JB’s fur.

“And then I went to get the stuff for dinner. He looked pretty tired so I left him at home.” Eggsy bit his lip. “I should have known,” he whispered softly. “When I came home, he didn’t come when I called, and I should have known something was wrong, but I just thought he was being a lazy sod.”

His voice broke on a sob and Roxy wrapped her arm around his shoulders and pulled him close, trying to give as much comfort as she could even as her own grief threatened to choke her. She could feel tears prickling the corners of her eyes and making their slow way down her own cheeks.

“I saw him, Rox,” Eggsy said, breath hitching as more tears fell. “He was all curled up. He looked like he was sleeping and I didn’t know better. How could I not have known, Rox? Why didn’t I check?” He swallowed and looked back at JB, fingers compulsively petting the short fur. “I just left him there. He was dead the whole time and I left him there alone. Fuck, Rox. I was talking to him the entire time like a fucking idiot and he was already gone.”

Eggsy let out a low pained moan and Roxy tightened her hold on him, her tears flowing unchecked.

“It’s my fault, Rox. I should have kno-“

“No, love,” Roxy cut him off. She wasn’t going to let him blame himself. “No one’s to blame. You said it yourself. JB wasn’t a pup anymore. It was just his time. You weren’t to know, Eggsy.”

“But-“

“No, buts, Eggsy. It’s  _not_  your fault. And I know that you’re upset that you weren’t here when it happened, but JB was never really alone. He had you. He  _always_  had you. He knew you loved him, Eggsy. You loved him more than anything else.” Roxy had to stop when her voice broke.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without him, Rox,” Eggsy whispered and Roxy didn’t know how to respond so she just crowded in closer to him, resting her cheek against the top of his bowed head as he wept.

For Eggsy, JB had been his entire world. He’d raised the pug from a pup, lavished love and attention on him every minute he’d been able to and had even technically given up Kingsman for him.

The house had been converted to make life easier for JB as he grew older. Ramps installed at the front and back entrances, small steps placed next to all the beds and sofas in order that JB could still climb onto them and Eggsy had even somehow managed to talk Merlin into installing a modified chairlift for the small pug to use to go up and down the stairs when arthritis had started to restrict his mobility.

Eggsy had invested his entire being into the pug and it had been returned tenfold. If JB had been Eggsy’s world, Eggsy had been the centre of JB’s universe.

And now JB was gone.

And Eggsy’s world was diminished.

 

\- end -

**Author's Note:**

> Written after we lost our second cat to cancer a few weeks ago.
> 
> The grief lessens, but it never goes away.


End file.
